PATIENT RECORDS
Institutional Archive of Psychological Profiles
Chris Cuomo
A 15-year case study of a man who confused bench-pressing with journalism and treated Twitter like a cage fight.
Don Lemon
From CNN primetime to shouting at ICE agents in a hoodie: the chaotic descent of a corporate anchor into independent radicalization.
Anderson Cooper
A longitudinal study of a media aristocrat who monetized his lineage while policing the manners of the peasantry.
Chris Hayes
A longitudinal study of a man who replaced his human soul with a policy paper and mistook anxiety for insight.
Joy Reid
From docile 'Hardball' staffer to the high priestess of race-essentialist hysteria, mapping the total collapse of an individual ego into the corporate hive-mind.
Rachel Maddow
A longitudinal autopsy of a Rhodes Scholar who devolved from a cheeky policy wonk into the premier conspiracy theorist of the liberal establishment.
Brett Cooper
A longitudinal autopsy of the 'Cool Girl' conservative who monetized 'normality' to become the face of the Counter-Culture.
Michael Knowles
A longitudinal autopsy of a failed actor who successfully pivoted to playing the role of a 19th-century theocrat in the 21st-century culture war.
Dave Rubin
The hollow man who let the algorithm rewrite his soul, one 'Classical Liberal' pivot at a time.
Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
A 14-year longitudinal study of how America's most prominent environmental lawyer metamorphosed into the high priest of the anti-establishment right.
Chris Christie
From 'The Boss' of New Jersey to a professional punching bag: a 15-year case study in hubris and humiliation.
Nikki Haley
A longitudinal study of a political algorithm attempting to run 2003 software on 2024 hardware.
Mike Pence
A 17-year clinical study of the ultimate political chameleon: from Tea Party firebrand to the hollowed-out vessel of the MAGA movement.
Liz Cheney
From 'Best VP Ever' cheerleader to the GOP's exiled saint: the 14-year spiral of a hawk who flew directly into the MAGA sun.
Mitt Romney
A longitudinal autopsy of the last 'Responsible Republican' as he attempts to manage the decline of an empire that no longer wants him.
Eric Swalwell
A 13-year descent from wide-eyed freshman to 'Terminal Reply Guy,' charting the total collapse of legislative dignity in the age of Twitter.
Adam Schiff
From a sterile DNC functionary to the self-appointed Inquisitor General: a 15-year clinical deconstruction of the 'Resistance's' most disciplined bureaucrat.
Ayanna Pressley
From local City Council 'Shero' to the national High Priestess of Intersectional Trauma: a 15-year clinical deconstruction of the Squad's Therapeutic Architect.
Rashida Tlaib
From Detroit activist to global grievance archaeologist: the weaponization of the 'Mother' archetype.
Bernie Sanders
A clinical look at the man who has been saying the exact same paragraph for forty years, now weaponized against AI.